myjuicyjuice: How retarded!

Sunday, December 10, 2006

How retarded!

I was looking at different yahoo groups and came across this one..here is what the intro says..may Allah guide them..
We are a group of muslims from all over the world we enjoy meeting other people for friendship, romance and love.So if you are a male or female from 18-80 years old, single or unhappily married you are welcome to join this group. This is a good place for muslim sisters especialy if they are unhappily married to a violent husband to meet other men. Remember, it is a fact of life that most of muslim married men enjoy meeting other women. Also married muslim women enjoy meeting other men.Forget about hatred and war, let's talk about romance.

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WHAT RELIGION IS YOUR BRA?

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly >walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy >a bra for my wife. What type of bra?" asked the clerk. Type?" >inquires the man, "There's more than one type? Look around," said the >saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in >every shape, size, color and material imaginable. Actually, even >with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to >choose from. Relieved, the man asked about the types! . > > The sales lady replied: There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, >the Presbyterian, and >the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer? Now totally befuddled, >the man asked about the differences between >them. The Saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple... >The Catholic type supports the masses. The Salvation Army type lifts >the fallen, The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, >The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills. Have you ever wondered >why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the >letters used to define bra cup sizes? If you have wondered why, but >couldn't figure out what the letters >stood for? It is about time you became informed! {A} Almost Boobs... > {B} Barely there. {C} Can't Complain! {D} Dang! {DD} >Double dang! {E} Enormous! {F} Fake. {G} Get a Reduction. > {H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up ! Send this to all that >will appreciate it! They forgot the German bra. > Holtzemfromfloppen!

Ya Allah, forgive me when I whine

> Today, upon a bus I saw a girl > with golden hair, and wished I > were as fair. > When suddenly she rose to leave, > I saw her hobble down the aisle. > She had one leg and wore a > crutch, but as she passed, a > smile. > Ya Allah, forgive me when I > whine. I have 2 legs, the world > is mine. > > I stopped to buy some candy. The > lad who sold it had such charm. > I talked with him, he seemed so > glad, if I were late, it'd do no > harm. > And as I left, he said to me, "I > thank you, you've been so kind. > It's nice to talk with folks like > you. You see," he said, "I'm > blind." > Ya Allah, forgive me when I > whine. I have 2 eyes, the world > is mine. > > Later while walking down the > street, I saw a child with eyes > of blue. > He stood and watched the others > play. He did not know what to do. > I stopped a moment and then I > said, "Why don't you join the > others, dear?" > He looked ahead without a word. > And then I knew, he couldn't > hear. > Ya Allah, forgive me when I > whine. I have 2 ears, the world > is mine. > > With feet to take me where I'd > go. > With eyes to see the sunsets > glow. > With ears to hear what I'd know. > Ya Allah, forgive me when I > whine. I've been blessed indeed, > the world is mine.

A man checked into a hotel.

There was a computer in his room, So he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed the wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail. Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To : My Loving Wife Subject : I've Reached Date : 8 May 2004 I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

EVERYTHING HAS A GENDER

>> > >> >You may not know this but many nonliving things have >>a gender. >> > >> >Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything >> >in, but you can see right through them. >> > >> >Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it >> >takes a while to warm them up again. It's an >>effective >> >reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, >> >but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed. >> > >> >A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often >> >over-inflated. >> > >> >A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go! >> >anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of >> >course, there's the hot air part. >> > >> >Sponges are Female, because they're soft, >> >squeezable and retain water. >> > >> >A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting >> >hit on. >> > >> >A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines >>to pick people >>up. >> > >> >An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the >> >weight shifts to the bottom. >> > >> >A Hammer is Male, because it hasn't changed much! >> >over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have >>around. >> > >> >A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought-it'd >> >be male , didn't you? But consider this - it gives a >> >man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he >> >doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he >> >keeps trying!

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